i was much appreciated to see those familiar faces, the faces to some of my friends and with my appreciation by thanking them. yes it was my 19th birthday by far from the traumatized incident that has taken over the weekend, there were other things that came across my mine.
Ive manage to do every thing right and that one split second, i then realize what had hit me. i failed, and to think it would be fine only to miss by 0.02% of a mark had got me devastated. frustrated as i am i failed my manual Ps. it made me think what have i done wrong and the only conclusion i thought of was that she purposely failed me so they could eat my money. god damit is all i can say
today i've manage to spend half my night expressing the voice within giving all i got. listening to the same song by High School Musical 2 - Gotta Go My Own Way.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Traumatise
Thought my life was over that one instant, i could not think nor feel the dramatic hit and it happened. The adrenaline rush as i got out of that car grabbing what i can.
The next instant i was at a shock state not knowing whats going on around. Whether should i respond cause i know i couldn't and yet i could not take that imagine out of my head. My eyes were wide open and i could see every that was coming. The stupidity that took over this whole dramatic scene was a near death experience.
I was so scared and yet I'm still scared.
The next instant i was at a shock state not knowing whats going on around. Whether should i respond cause i know i couldn't and yet i could not take that imagine out of my head. My eyes were wide open and i could see every that was coming. The stupidity that took over this whole dramatic scene was a near death experience.
I was so scared and yet I'm still scared.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Despicable
tired, exhausted, the day have gone by so slow. it is now 2.02pm and it seem like summers has come sooner then i have expected.
i have almost accomplished the first high lights to my goals of the age 19, well soon to be. Yes! Monday is the day, the day that i should be getting my manual P's.
disappointment has arose over my thoughts all morning having to endure whats lyes beyond new years that I'll be joining. thinking about it makes me wanted throw a brick at some ones face, the immaturity of one self is what i have to put up with. too bad enough the hatred what brings this bad aurora which attracts them to bring such conflict.
pointless being never learns and to think they have it all, but from the point of others its despicable.
i have almost accomplished the first high lights to my goals of the age 19, well soon to be. Yes! Monday is the day, the day that i should be getting my manual P's.
disappointment has arose over my thoughts all morning having to endure whats lyes beyond new years that I'll be joining. thinking about it makes me wanted throw a brick at some ones face, the immaturity of one self is what i have to put up with. too bad enough the hatred what brings this bad aurora which attracts them to bring such conflict.
pointless being never learns and to think they have it all, but from the point of others its despicable.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Bordom
As complicated as life could get, boredom took over. Yet I'm sitting staring at the same screen.
i didn't realize how my life couldn't get any better. i was hoping for a sign, any sign and yet i'm still sitting here waiting and waiting.
It's Time of month and i was trying to go through my day without struggling to keep my self up. obviously if you were there to observe me, i failed and i still manage to survive some how. Talking to the customer as a daily routine gets you insane. i had to cure this insanity by taking up 2 hrs of my work time napping in sick bay.
not a care and sympathy to my customer, i simply ignore that fact that they were people who is in need of a satisfying service. Dodgy as i am and will always be, are the only way to get through the day without making a fool, cause in the end there's no extra credit for hard work. i simply ignore the rules and make my own.
"if u can imagine it , u can achieve it , if u can dream it , u can become it"
those words are such inspirational and inspired to do much more. those words belongs to a friend who told me and i ask my self "if only life wasn't as complicated." wish for a split second that life would turn around but i sit here on my bed, still waiting and waiting.
i didn't realize how my life couldn't get any better. i was hoping for a sign, any sign and yet i'm still sitting here waiting and waiting.
It's Time of month and i was trying to go through my day without struggling to keep my self up. obviously if you were there to observe me, i failed and i still manage to survive some how. Talking to the customer as a daily routine gets you insane. i had to cure this insanity by taking up 2 hrs of my work time napping in sick bay.
not a care and sympathy to my customer, i simply ignore that fact that they were people who is in need of a satisfying service. Dodgy as i am and will always be, are the only way to get through the day without making a fool, cause in the end there's no extra credit for hard work. i simply ignore the rules and make my own.
"if u can imagine it , u can achieve it , if u can dream it , u can become it"
those words are such inspirational and inspired to do much more. those words belongs to a friend who told me and i ask my self "if only life wasn't as complicated." wish for a split second that life would turn around but i sit here on my bed, still waiting and waiting.
The Truth
1.05am
when you think you have peace in your life once it has ended
guess it never stop. the confession of one self bring so much complication. i wish things was abit easy for me.
a bit of a disappointment as i discover what lyes beyond their thoughts. Having one self to think that you were part of a rumor that have put a burden apon others. to say am i suppose to feel happy nor sad and yet i tell my self to always smile even when the world is against you.
i can be clumsy and naive but i'm smart enough to know whats right and what rong. maybe i'm to nice. how could i be sooo clumsy enough not to see his true self puting my self in a situation now takes a burden towards others. things always goes wrong to good people yet never in a life time having to face this burden of lies.
i see my friends and i know what he is and at the same time i feel afraid for them. so innocent and soon to be hit by a tonne of brick and they wouldn't see it coming. when it happen they'll ask them self why.
guess it never stop. the confession of one self bring so much complication. i wish things was abit easy for me.
a bit of a disappointment as i discover what lyes beyond their thoughts. Having one self to think that you were part of a rumor that have put a burden apon others. to say am i suppose to feel happy nor sad and yet i tell my self to always smile even when the world is against you.
i can be clumsy and naive but i'm smart enough to know whats right and what rong. maybe i'm to nice. how could i be sooo clumsy enough not to see his true self puting my self in a situation now takes a burden towards others. things always goes wrong to good people yet never in a life time having to face this burden of lies.
i see my friends and i know what he is and at the same time i feel afraid for them. so innocent and soon to be hit by a tonne of brick and they wouldn't see it coming. when it happen they'll ask them self why.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Bed Room thoughts
1.59am
It getting late but for some reason i cannot shut my eyes. Many things are currently running through the brains of my thoughts. Should i be happy is what i should be asking???
EMO MUCH ???
urm... well i guess i cant complain
It is now 7 days from today before i turn another year older, a little bit wiser and getting towards the old age look.
my high lights for the age of 19
while i'm in bed other things that came across my mine.
its now 2.26am and gosh i need to get some rest but i shall keep an update tomorrow.
It getting late but for some reason i cannot shut my eyes. Many things are currently running through the brains of my thoughts. Should i be happy is what i should be asking???
EMO MUCH ???
urm... well i guess i cant complain
It is now 7 days from today before i turn another year older, a little bit wiser and getting towards the old age look.
my high lights for the age of 19
- Get my red P's it has been a good long 4 years of my life
- get all my debt paid up (credit card, photoshoot payments, fines and so on)
- as for my EK my car which i think i love need a new front fender
- coilovers for my car
- rims - buddy club P1
- sound system
- engine conversion from my standard ek1 engine to a B18c
- exhaust not the full loud one ^^
- hopefully many other after market product
- get a better job rather then at Teletech
while i'm in bed other things that came across my mine.
its now 2.26am and gosh i need to get some rest but i shall keep an update tomorrow.
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